Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents (Part 2: Chapter 6-10)
- Larry Chou
- 2 days ago
- 15 min read
作者：Lindsay C. Gibson
Chapter 5: How Different Children React to Emotionally Immature Parenting
In the chapter "How Different Children React to Emotionally Immature Parenting", Lindsay C. Gibson explores how children's responses to emotionally immature parenting vary according to their temperaments and coping skills. She posits that children generally react in four ways: as internalizers, externalizers, resilient types, or avoiders. Internalizers tend to blame themselves for their parents' emotional immaturity, often leading to feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt. Externalizers, on the other hand, blame others and external circumstances for their difficulties, frequently causing conflict and stress within the family.
Lindsay C. Gibson 探討了孩子對於情緒不成熟的教養方式的反應如何因其性格和應對技巧而異。她主張孩子們一般以四種方式反應：內化者、外化者、韌性型和逃避者。內化者傾向於為父母的情緒不成熟自責，這常常導致他們感到無價值和自我懷疑。另一方面，外化者將他們的困難歸咎於他人和外在環境，這經常導致家庭內的衝突和壓力。
Temperaments (性格)
Children's temperaments greatly influence their reactions to emotionally immature parenting.
孩子的性格深度影響他們對情緒不成熟的教養方式的反應。
Coping skills (應對技巧)
Coping skills help children navigate difficult situations caused by emotionally immature parents.
應對技巧幫助孩子們處理由情緒不成熟的父母引起的困難情況。
Internalizers (內化者)
Internalizers often internalize the blame for their parents' emotional immaturity.
內化者常常將父母的情緒不成熟的責任內化。
Externalizers (外化者)
Externalizers tend to externalize their issues and blame others for their problems.
外化者傾向於將他們的問題外化，並將他們的問題歸咎於他人。
Conflict (衝突)
The behavior of externalizers often leads to conflict within the family.
外化者的行為通常會導致家庭內的衝突。
Resilient types and avoiders, Gibson explains, adopt different strategies to cope with emotionally immature parents. Resilient types are highly adaptable and resourceful, using their inner strength to maintain their emotional stability. Avoiders, however, distance themselves from their parents and their emotional immaturity, often building walls around their emotions to shield themselves from pain and disappointment.
Lindsay C. Gibson 解釋，韌性型和逃避者採取不同的策略來應對情緒不成熟的父母。韌性型的人具有高度的適應性和機智，他們利用自己的內在力量來維持情緒的穩定。然而，逃避者將自己與父母和他們的情緒不成熟隔離，他們經常在自己的情緒周圍築起牆來保護自己免受痛苦和失望的傷害。
Resilient types (韌性型)
Resilient types utilize their adaptability and resourcefulness to cope with emotionally immature parents.
韌性型的人利用他們的適應性和機智來應對情緒不成熟的父母。
Avoiders (逃避者)
Avoiders distance themselves from their parents' emotional immaturity to protect their emotional well-being.
逃避者將自己與父母的情緒不成熟隔離，以保護他們的情緒健康。
Adaptability (適應性)
Adaptability is a key strength of resilient types in dealing with emotionally immature parents.
在處理情緒不成熟的父母時，適應性是韌性型人的一個關鍵優勢。
Emotional stability (情緒穩定)
Resilient types use their inner strength to maintain emotional stability despite their parents' emotional immaturity.
韌性型的人利用他們的內在力量來維持情緒穩定，儘管他們的父母情緒不成熟。
Disappointment (失望)
Avoiders build emotional walls to protect themselves from the pain and disappointment caused by their parents' emotional immaturity.
逃避者築起情緒之牆，以保護自己免受父母情緒不成熟引起的痛苦和失望的傷害。
Key Points
Children's reactions to emotionally immature parenting vary according to their temperaments and coping skills.
孩子對情緒不成熟的教養方式的反應會因他們的性格和應對技巧而異。
Children generally react in four ways: as internalizers, externalizers, resilient types, or avoiders.
孩子們一般有四種反應方式：內化者、外化者、韌性型或逃避者。
Internalizers tend to blame themselves for their parents' emotional immaturity.
內化者傾向於為父母的情緒不成熟自責。
Externalizers blame others and external circumstances for their difficulties.
外化者將他們的困難歸咎於他人和外在環境。
Resilient types are highly adaptable and resourceful, while avoiders distance themselves from their parents and their emotional immaturity.
韌性型的人具有高度的適應性和機智，而逃避者則將自己與他們的父母和他們的情緒不成熟疏離。
英文檢定綜合試題
Which type of child tends to blame themselves for their parents' emotional immaturity?
A. Externalizers
B. Resilient types
C. Internalizers
D. Avoiders
Answer: C
解析：內化者傾向於將父母的情緒不成熟歸咎於自己。
Which type of child uses adaptability and resourcefulness to deal with emotionally immature parents?
A. Resilient types
B. Externalizers
C. Avoiders
D. Internalizers
Answer: A
解析：韌性型的孩子利用他們的適應性和機智來處理情緒不成熟的父母。
Which type of child tends to blame others for their difficulties in dealing with emotionally immature parents?
A. Resilient types
B. Internalizers
C. Externalizers
D. Avoiders
Answer: C
解析：外化者傾向於將他們與情緒不成熟父母的困難歸咎於他人。
Which type of child distances themselves from their parents and their emotional immaturity?
A. Internalizers
B. Externalizers
C. Resilient types
D. Avoiders
Answer: D
解析：逃避者將自己與他們的父母和他們的情緒不成熟疏離。
Which type of child often builds emotional walls to protect themselves from the pain and disappointment caused by their parents' emotional immaturity?
A. Resilient types
B. Internalizers
C. Externalizers
D. Avoiders
Answer: D
解析：逃避者經常築起情緒之牆，以保護自己免受父母情緒不成熟引起的痛苦和失望的傷害。
Chapter 6: What It’s Like to Be an Internalizer
The chapter "What It’s Like to Be an Internalizer" from the book "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Lindsay C. Gibson delves into the psychology of internalizers, describing them as individuals who tend to internalize their feelings rather than expressing them outwardly. These individuals are characterized by their tendency to keep their emotions and thoughts to themselves, often going to great lengths to avoid conflict or confrontation. This behavior, however, results in a build-up of emotional stress, which can have severe consequences on their mental health.
這一章探討了內化者的心理。內化者傾向於內化他們的感情，而不是將其外化。這些人的特點是他們傾向於把自己的情緒和想法保留在自己內心，常常會為了避免衝突或對抗而付出巨大的努力。然而，這種行為會導致情緒壓力的積累，進而對他們的心理健康產生嚴重的影響。
Internalize (內化)
For many internalizers, it is easier to internalize their feelings than to express them.
對許多內化者來說，內化他們的感情比表達它們要容易得多。
Behavior (行為)
Her behavior was a result of her internalization of her feelings.
她的行為是她內化情緒的結果。
Consequences (後果)
The consequences of internalizing your feelings can be severe.
內化你的感情可能會帶來嚴重的後果。
Mental Health (心理健康)
Ignoring your feelings can have a negative impact on your mental health.
忽略你的感情可能會對你的心理健康產生負面影響。
The chapter then explores the factors that contribute to the development of internalizers, explaining that emotionally immature parents often fail to provide a safe space for their children to express their feelings. This lack of emotional validation leads their children to suppress their emotions, causing them to become internalizers. The author further discusses the strategies that internalizers use to cope with their suppressed emotions, such as escapism and emotional detachment.
然後，該章節探討了促使內化者形成的因素，解釋了情緒不成熟的父母常常無法為他們的孩子提供一個安全的空間來表達他們的感情。這種情緒確認的缺乏導致他們的孩子壓抑自己的情緒，使他們變成內化者。作者進一步討論了內化者用來應對他們被壓抑的情緒的策略，如逃避現實和情緒疏離。
Factors (因素)
Several factors contribute to the development of internalizers.
有幾個因素促成了內化者的形成。
Emotionally Immature (情緒不成熟)
Emotionally immature parents often fail to provide a safe space for their children to express their feelings.
情緒不成熟的父母經常無法為他們的孩子提供一個可以安全表達感情的空間。
Suppressed (被壓抑的)
Suppressed emotions can lead to a variety of mental health issues.
被壓抑的情緒可能導致各種心理健康問題。
Escapism (逃避現實)
Escapism is one strategy that internalizers use to cope with their emotions.
逃避現實是內化者用來應對他們的情緒的一種策略。
Key Points
Internalizers tend to keep their emotions and thoughts to themselves. 內化者傾向於把自己的情緒和想法保留在自己內心。
Internalizers often avoid conflict or confrontation. 內化者常常避免衝突或對抗。
Internalizing feelings can result in emotional stress and mental health issues. 內化感情可能導致情緒壓力和心理健康問題。
Emotionally immature parents can contribute to the development of internalizers. 情緒不成熟的父母可能導致內化者的形成。
Internalizers use strategies like escapism and emotional detachment to cope with their suppressed emotions. 內化者使用逃避現實和情緒疏離等策略來應對他們的被壓抑的情緒。
英文檢定綜合試題
What is an internalizer?
A. An individual who expresses their feelings openly.
B. An individual who keeps their emotions to themselves.
C. An individual who confronts conflict head-on.
D. An individual who externalizes their feelings.
Answer: B
解析：內化者是一種將情緒保留在自己內心的人。
What are the consequences of internalizing feelings?
A. Increased emotional understanding.
B. Improved conflict resolution skills.
C. Emotional stress and potential mental health issues.
D. Enhanced communication skills.
Answer: C
解析：內化感情可能導致情緒壓力和可能的心理健康問題。
What contributes to the development of internalizers?
A. Emotionally mature parents.
B. A supportive and open environment.
C. Emotionally immature parents.
D. A lifestyle of constant confrontation.
Answer: C
解析：情緒不成熟的父母可能導致內化者的形成。
What are some ways internalizers cope with their suppressed emotions?
A. Confrontation and conflict.
B. Escapism and emotional detachment.
C. Open communication.
D. Expression of feelings.
Answer: B
解析：內化者使用逃避現實和情緒疏離等策略來應對他們的被壓抑的情緒。
Chapter 7: Breaking Down and Awakening
In the chapter "Breaking Down and Awakening," Gibson delves into the emotional turmoil experienced by adult children of emotionally immature parents. She asserts that the breaking down phase is characterized by a feeling of disillusionment, frustration, and often, a sense of grief. These feelings stem from the realization that their parents are incapable of providing the emotional sustenance they crave.
在"瓦解與覺醒"這一章中，Lindsay C. Gibson 探討了情緒不成熟父母的成年子女所經歷的情緒風暴。她主張，瓦解階段的特徵是對幻滅、挫折，以及經常是一種悲痛感的感受。這些感情源於他們意識到父母無法提供他們渴望的情緒支持。
Disillusionment (幻滅)
She experienced a profound sense of disillusionment when she realized her parents could not meet her emotional needs.
當她意識到父母無法滿足她的情緒需求時，她經歷了深深的幻滅感。
Frustration (挫折)
His frustration was palpable when his efforts to connect emotionally with his parents were consistently rebuffed.
當他試圖與父母建立情感聯繫的努力一再被拒絕時，他的挫折感十分明顯。
Grief (悲痛感)
The grief she felt was overwhelming as she mourned the loss of the emotionally supportive parents she never had.
她對從未擁有的情感支持父母的喪失感到悲痛，這種悲痛感無法承受。
Gibson then discusses the awakening phase, where adult children start to find their own emotional footing. This phase is marked by the gradual acceptance of their parents' emotional limitations and a shift towards seeking emotional fulfillment elsewhere. She highlights the importance of fostering self-compassion and pursuing emotional independence.
然後 Lindsay C. Gibson 討論了覺醒階段，成年子女開始找到自己的情緒立足點。這個階段的標誌是逐漸接受父母的情感限制，並轉向尋求在其他地方得到情感滿足。她強調了培養自我同情心和追求情感獨立性的重要性。
Acceptance (接受)
Acceptance of her parents' emotional limitations was a critical step in her healing process.
接受父母的情感限制是她康復過程中的關鍵一步。
Fulfillment (滿足)
She sought emotional fulfillment outside of her family, forming deep and meaningful relationships with friends.
她在家庭之外尋找情感滿足，與朋友建立深厚而有意義的關係。
Self-compassion (自我同情心)
Practicing self-compassion can be therapeutic for those struggling with the emotional aftermath of having emotionally immature parents.
對於那些與情緒不成熟的父母的情緒後果掙扎的人來說，練習自我同情心可以具有治療效果。
Key Points
Adult children of emotionally immature parents often experience feelings of disillusionment, frustration, and grief.
情緒不成熟的父母的成年子女經常經歷幻滅、挫折和悲痛的感覺。
These feelings stem from the realization that their parents cannot satisfy their emotional needs.
這些感情源於他們意識到父母無法滿足他們的情緒需求。
The awakening phase is characterized by acceptance of their parents' emotional limitations and seeking emotional fulfillment elsewhere.
覺醒階段的特徵是接受父母的情感限制，並在其他地方尋找情感滿足。
Fostering self-compassion and pursuing emotional independence are critical for healing and personal growth.
培養自我同情心和追求情感獨立對於康復和個人成長至關重要。
英文檢定綜合試題
What are the feelings experienced during the breaking down phase?
A. Excitement and anticipation
B. Disillusionment, frustration, and grief
C. Joy and contentment
D. None of the above
Answer: B
解析：在瓦解階段，人們會經歷幻滅、挫折和悲痛的感覺。
What marks the awakening phase for adult children of emotionally immature parents?
A. The desire to confront their parents
B. The acceptance of their parents' emotional limitations and seeking emotional fulfillment elsewhere
C. The decision to cut off all contact with their parents
D. None of the above
Answer: B
解析：對情緒不成熟的父母的成年子女來說，覺醒階段的標誌是接受父母的情感限制並尋求在其他地方找到情感滿足。
Why is self-compassion important for adult children of emotionally immature parents?
A. It helps them forgive their parents
B. It is therapeutic and aids in their healing process
C. It makes them feel superior
D. None of the above
Answer: B
解析：對情緒不成熟的父母的成年子女來說，自我同情心很重要，因為它有治療效果，並有助於他們的康復過程。
Chapter 8: How to Avoid Getting Hooked by an Emotionally Immature Parent
The chapter entitled "How to Avoid Getting Hooked by an Emotionally Immature Parent" delves into the various ways adult children can sidestep the emotional pitfalls that emotionally immature parents often induce. It emphasizes the power of self-awareness and the need for boundaries to protect oneself from getting ensnared in emotional drama. The author suggests that adult children must learn to recognize the emotional manipulations of their parents and respond in ways that protect their emotional well-being.
該章節探討了成年兒女可以如何避開情緒不成熟的父母常常引發的情緒陷阱。它強調了自我覺察的力量，以及需要設立界限以防止自己陷入情緒劇場中。作者建議，成年兒女必須學會識別父母的情緒操控，並以保護自身情緒健康的方式回應。
Sidestep (避開)
She managed to sidestep the issue by changing the subject.
她成功地避開這個問題，通過改變話題。
Pitfalls (陷阱)
He pointed out the pitfalls of the business proposal.
他指出了商業提案的陷阱。
Ensnared (陷入)
He was ensnared in the web of lies.
他陷入了謊言之網。
Manipulations (操控)
The politician was accused of manipulating to gain votes.
政治家被指控操控以獲取選票。
Emotional well-being (情緒健康)
Her emotional well-being was affected by the constant stress at work.
她的情緒健康受到工作中的持續壓力影響。
Key Points
Self-awareness and boundaries are crucial in dealing with emotionally immature parents.
與情緒不成熟的父母打交道時，自我覺察和界限至關重要。
Adult children need to recognize and protect themselves from the emotional manipulations of their parents.
成年兒女需要認識並保護自己免受父母的情緒操控。
It's important for adult children to respond in ways that safeguard their emotional well-being.
對於成年兒女來說，以保護自己情緒健康的方式回應非常重要。
英文檢定綜合試題
What is the main idea of the chapter?
A. The importance of self-awareness and boundaries.
B. The role of parents in their children's emotional development.
C. Ways to avoid getting hooked by an emotionally immature parent.
D. The impact of emotionally immature parents on children.
Answer: C
解析：本章的主要觀點是介紹如何避免被情緒不成熟的父母牽著走。
What are the two crucial tools in dealing with emotionally immature parents as suggested by the author?
A. Empathy and patience.
B. Self-awareness and boundaries.
C. Communication and understanding.
D. Forgiveness and acceptance.
Answer: B
解析：作者認為處理情緒不成熟的父母最關鍵的兩個工具是自我覺察和設立界限。
Chapter 9: How It Feels to Live Free of Roles and Fantasies
In the chapter "How It Feels to Live Free of Roles and Fantasies", Gibson discusses the liberating feeling of breaking free from the shackles of imposed roles and fantasies. She explains that growing up with emotionally immature parents often results in children internalizing certain roles and fantasies that are not truly their own. The process of maturing into a self-aware adult involves recognizing and releasing these false narratives. This newfound freedom allows individuals to connect with their authentic selves and live in a state of present awareness, unburdened by the past.
Lindsay C. Gibson 討論了擺脫被強加的角色和幻想的束縛的解放感。她解釋，與情緒上不成熟的父母一起成長，常常導致孩子內化某些並非真正屬於自己的角色和幻想。成為一個自我意識的成人的過程包括認識並釋放這些虛假的敘述。這種新發現的自由讓人們能夠與自己的真實自我連接，並活在當下的覺察狀態中，不被過去所困擾。
Liberating (解放)
The liberating feeling of breaking free from the shackles is indescribable.
擺脫束縛的解放感是無法形容的。
Internalizing (內化)
Children often end up internalizing certain roles that are not truly their own.
孩子們常常最終內化了一些並非真正屬於自己的角色。
Narratives (敘述)
The process of maturing involves recognizing and releasing these false narratives.
成熟的過程包括認識和釋放這些虛假的敘述。
Authentic (真實)
This freedom allows individuals to connect with their authentic selves.
這種自由讓人們能夠與自己的真實自我連接。
Unburdened (不被負擔)
Live in a state of present awareness, unburdened by the past.
活在當下的覺察狀態中，不被過去所困擾。
Key Points
Growing up with emotionally immature parents often results in children internalizing certain roles and fantasies.
與情緒上不成熟的父母一起成長，常導致孩子內化某些角色和幻想。
The process of maturing into a self-aware adult involves recognizing and releasing these false narratives.
成為一個自我意識的成人的過程包括認識和釋放這些虛假的敘述。
Freedom from imposed roles and fantasies allows individuals to connect with their authentic selves.
擺脫被強加的角色和幻想的自由讓人能夠與自己的真實自我連接。
Living in a state of present awareness, unburdened by the past, is liberating.
活在當下的覺察狀態中，不被過去所困擾，是一種解放。
英文檢定綜合試題
What does the author mean by "internalizing certain roles and fantasies"?
A. Accepting societal norms and expectations.
B. Adopting a celebrity's lifestyle and way of thinking.
C. Internalizing roles and fantasies imposed by emotionally immature parents.
D. Embracing one's natural talents and interests.
Answer: C
解析：作者所說的 "內化某些角色和幻想" 是指接受並內化由情緒不成熟的父母強加的角色和幻想。
What is the result of maturing into a self-aware adult, according to the author?
A. You become more disciplined and responsible.
B. You recognize and release false narratives that you had internalized.
C. You learn to ignore societal expectations and live freely.
D. You develop a stronger bond with your parents.
Answer: B
解析：根據作者的說法，成為一個自我意識的成人的結果是你認識並釋放你已經內化的虛假敘述。
What does it mean to connect with one's authentic self?
A. To embrace one's natural talents and interests.
B. To fully understand and accept one's own strengths and weaknesses.
C. To live according to societal norms and expectations.
D. To mimic the behaviors and attitudes of successful people.
Answer: B
解析：與自己的真實自我連接的意思是完全理解並接受自己的長處和短處。
Chapter 10: How to Identify Emotionally Mature People
In the chapter "How to Identify Emotionally Mature People", Gibson explains that emotionally mature individuals are those who can manage their feelings, understand others' emotions, and maintain healthy relationships. These people are capable of self-reflection and acknowledge their mistakes. They possess empathy and are able to communicate effectively. They value truth and authenticity and are consistent in their actions and words.
在 "如何識別情緒成熟的人" 這一章中，Lindsay C. Gibson 解釋說，情緒成熟的人是那些能夠管理自己的情緒、理解他人的感情，並維持健康關係的人。這些人能夠自我反思，並承認自己的錯誤。他們擁有同理心，並能有效地溝通。他們重視真理和真實性，並在行為和言語中保持一致。
Emotionally mature (情緒成熟)
Emotionally mature individuals can manage their feelings effectively.
情緒成熟的人能夠有效地管理自己的感情。
Self-reflection (自我反思)
Self-reflection is a key feature of emotionally mature individuals.
自我反思是情緒成熟的人的一個重要特徵。
Acknowledge (承認)
They are not afraid to acknowledge their mistakes.
他們不怕承認自己的錯誤。
Empathy (同理心)
Empathy allows them to understand and connect with others.
同理心讓他們能理解並與他人建立聯繫。
Authenticity (真實性)
They value authenticity and are true to themselves.
他們重視真實性，並忠於自我。
Consistent (一致)
They are consistent in their actions and words.
他們的行為和言辭始終如一。
Key Points
Emotionally mature individuals can manage their feelings effectively.
情緒成熟的人能夠有效地管理自己的感情。
They are capable of self-reflection and acknowledge their mistakes.
他們能夠自我反思，並承認自己的錯誤。
These people possess empathy and are able to communicate effectively.
這些人具有同理心，並能有效地溝通。
They value truth and authenticity and are consistent in their actions and words.
他們重視真理和真實性，並在行為和言語中保持一致。
英文檢定綜合試題
According to Gibson, what are some characteristics of emotionally mature individuals?
A. They avoid acknowledging their mistakes.
B. They struggle with managing their feelings.
C. They possess empathy and can communicate effectively.
D. They are inconsistent in their actions and words.
Answer: C
解析：根據 Lindsay C. Gibson 的說法，情緒成熟的人具有同理心，並能有效地溝通，所以答案是 C。
What do emotionally mature individuals value?
A. Deception and inconsistency
B. Truth and authenticity
C. Avoiding self-reflection
D. Ignoring others' feelings
Answer: B
解析：情緒成熟的人重視真理和真實性，因此答案是 B。