1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (Part 1: Chapter 1-7)
- Larry Chou
- 2 days ago
- 14 min read
作者：Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D.
Chapter 1: Straight Thinking About Parenting
In the chapter "Straight Thinking About Parenting," Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D., advocates for a balanced approach to child-rearing, emphasizing that parents should not seek to control every aspect of their children's lives, but to guide and instruct them in a manner that allows for personal growth and development. He asserts that effective parenting requires a combination of firmness and compassion, along with clear communication and consistent enforcement of rules and expectations.
在〈理性看待育兒〉一章中，Dr. Thomas W. Phelan 主張應採取一種平衡的育兒方式。他強調，父母不應試圖掌控孩子生活中的每一個細節，而應以促進孩子個人成長與發展的方式加以引導與教導。他指出，有效的教養需要在堅定與慈愛之間取得平衡，並且透過清楚的溝通與一貫的規則執行來建立良好的教養關係。
Advocates (主張)
Thomas advocates for a balanced approach to parenting.
Thomas主張對育兒採取平衡的方法。
Asserts (主張)
He asserts that effective parenting requires a combination of firmness and compassion.
他主張有效的育兒需要堅定和慈悲的結合。
Emphasizing (強調)
Emphasizing the importance of clear communication, the author provides several examples.
強調清晰溝通的重要性，作者提供了幾個例子。
Firmness (堅定)
Dr. Phelan suggests that firmness in enforcing rules can help children understand their boundaries.
Dr. Phelan建議，堅定地執行規則可以幫助孩子理解他們的界限。
Compassion (慈悲)
Parents should show compassion to their children when they make mistakes.
當孩子犯錯誤時，父母應該對他們表示慈悲。
Key Points
Effective parenting requires a combination of firmness and compassion.
有效的育兒需要堅定和慈悲的結合。
Parents should not seek to control every aspect of their children's lives, but to guide and instruct them.
父母不應該試圖控制孩子生活的每一個方面，而是要引導和教導他們。
Clear communication and consistent enforcement of rules are essential for successful parenting.
清晰的溝通和對規則的一貫執行對於成功的育兒至關重要。
英文檢定綜合試題
According to the author, what are the two main qualities required for effective parenting?
A. Control and discipline.
B. Firmness and compassion.
C. Patience and understanding.
D. Love and care.
Answer: B
What is the author's view on parents controlling every aspect of their children's lives?
A. He strongly supports it.
B. He is against it.
C. He believes it is necessary.
D. He thinks it depends on the child's age.
Answer: B
Chapter 2: Parenting Job One: Controlling Obnoxious Behavior
In "Parenting Job One: Controlling Obnoxious Behavior," Dr. Thomas W. Phelan elucidates the significance of constructive discipline in managing children's disruptive conduct. He posits that the first step towards successful parenting is establishing control over children's objectionable behavior. The chapter underscores the necessity of a calm, composed response to a child's unruly actions, advocating for the use of timeouts and count methods. Dr. Phelan emphasizes that parents should avoid common pitfalls such as arguing, yelling, or attempting to reason with the child during their obnoxious behavior, as these actions exacerbate the situation.
在〈親職的首要任務：管理孩子的惱人行為〉一章中，Dr. Thomas W. Phelan 闡述了「建設性紀律」在處理兒童不當行為中的重要性。他認為，成功教養的第一步，是能夠有效掌握孩子那些令人困擾的行為。本章強調，當孩子出現不良行為時，父母應以冷靜、穩定的態度回應，並建議採用「冷靜時間」與「數數法」等具體策略。Phelan 提醒家長，要避免在這些時候落入常見陷阱，例如與孩子爭論、大聲斥責，或試圖講理說服，因為這些反應只會讓情況更加惡化。
Obnoxious (討厭的)
The obnoxious behavior of the child was causing distress to the parents.
這個孩子的討厭行為正在給父母帶來痛苦。
Exacerbate (惡化)
The parents' yelling only served to exacerbate the situation.
父母的大聲叫喊只會使情況惡化。
Constructive (建設性的)
Constructive discipline is crucial for managing children's disruptive behavior.
建設性的紀律對於管理兒童的破壞性行為至關重要。
Pitfalls (陷阱)
Parents should avoid the common pitfalls of arguing and yelling when dealing with a child's obnoxious behavior.
當處理孩子的討厭行為時，父母應避免常見的爭吵和大聲叫喊的陷阱。
Key Points
Constructive discipline is essential for controlling children's obnoxious behavior.
建設性的紀律對於控制兒童的討厭行為至關重要。
Parents should maintain a calm and composed response to a child's unruly actions.
父母應對孩子的任性行為保持冷靜和鎮定的反應。
Timeouts and count methods can be effective strategies for managing bad behavior.
暫停和”數到三“方法可以是管理不良行為的有效策略。
Arguing, yelling, or trying to reason with a child during their obnoxious behavior can make the situation worse.
在孩子表現出討厭行為時，爭吵、大聲叫喊或試圖與孩子理論會讓情況變得更糟。
英文檢定綜合試題
What is the first step towards successful parenting according to Dr. Phelan?
A. Arguing with the child.
B. Establishing control over objectionable behavior.
C. Ignoring the child's bad behavior.
D. Using physical punishment.
Answer: B
What should parents avoid doing when their child is behaving obnoxiously?
A. Yelling at the child.
B. Giving the child a timeout.
C. Using the count method.
D. Ignoring the child.
Answer: A
Chapter 3: Counting Obnoxious Behavior: What to Count
In the chapter "Counting Obnoxious Behavior: What to Count," Dr. Thomas W. Phelan introduces the concept of counting obnoxious behavior in children as a way to manage and correct their undesirable actions. He emphasizes the importance of identifying the specific behaviors that parents find disruptive, annoying, or disrespectful. Phelan encourages parents to be consistent and clear about what behaviors are unacceptable and should be counted.
在〈數數處理惱人行為：該數哪些？〉一章中，Dr. Thomas W. Phelan 提出了一種用「數數」（counting）方式來管理與改善孩子不當行為的方法。他指出，家長必須明確辨識出哪些行為是具破壞性、令人惱怒或不尊重的，並將這些行為納入「數數」的範圍內。Phelan 鼓勵父母在執行上要清楚且一致，讓孩子明白哪些行為是不能被接受的，也會因此被「數」進去。
Obnoxious (討厭的)
The child's obnoxious behavior was becoming a serious issue.
孩子的討厭行為已經成為一個嚴重的問題。
Manage (管理)
The teacher finds it hard to manage the disruptive behavior in class.
老師發現很難管理課堂上的破壞性行為。
Disruptive (具有破壞性的)
His disruptive behavior was affecting everyone in the family.
他的破壞性行為影響了家裡的每一個人。
Consistent (一貫的)
It's important to be consistent in your parenting approach.
保持你的育兒方式一貫性是很重要的。
Count (數數)
We need to count how many times he has displayed this behavior.
我們需要數一數他這種行為的次數。
Key Points
Obnoxious behavior in children should be counted and managed.
孩子的不當行為應透過「數數」方式加以管理與引導。
Parents should identify specific behaviors they find disruptive.
父母應明確辨識出那些他們認為具有干擾性或破壞性的行為。
Consistency and clarity are key in addressing unacceptable behavior.
要有效處理不可接受的行為，關鍵在於一致的原則與清楚的界線。
英文檢定綜合試題
What is the main method suggested in the chapter for managing obnoxious behavior?
A. Ignoring it
B. Counting it
C. Punishing it
D. Rewarding good behavior
Answer: B
What is important when identifying which behaviors to count?
A. How often does the behavior occur
B. Whether the behavior is intentional
C. How the behavior affects the parent
D. All of the above
Answer: D
What is a key point emphasized in the chapter?
A. The importance of rewarding good behavior
B. The need to ignore obnoxious behavior
C. The importance of consistency and clarity in addressing unacceptable behavior
D. The need to punish all disruptive behavior
Answer: C
Chapter 4: Counting: How to Do It
In the chapter "Counting: How to Do It" from the book "1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-15", Dr. Phelan introduces the concept of counting as a discipline method for children. He suggests that parents should use a calm and composed manner when implementing this strategy. Rather than engaging in lengthy discussions or arguments, parents should simply state the undesired behavior and start counting. He emphasizes that it's crucial to be consistent and not to exceed the count of three.
在《1-2-3 魔法：2–15 歲兒童的有效紀律法》一書中，〈數到三：怎麼做〉這一章節中，Dr. Phelan 介紹了以「數數」作為管教孩子的一種方法。他建議家長在執行這項策略時，應該保持冷靜與穩重。與其陷入冗長的講理或爭論，不如直接指出孩子的不當行為，然後開始倒數。他特別強調，關鍵在於執行的一致性，以及堅守「最多只數到三」的原則。
Composed (鎮定)
The teacher remained composed during the school emergency.
在學校發生緊急狀況時，老師保持冷靜鎮定。
Implementing (實施)
The new rules are being implemented starting next month.
新規定將從下個月開始實施。
Consistent (一致的)
He has been very consistent in his political beliefs.
他在政治信仰上一直非常堅定一致。
Crucial (至關重要)
It's crucial to follow the instructions carefully when using the machine.
在使用這台機器時，仔細遵守操作指示是至關重要的。
Undesired (不良的)
The new policy has led to some undesired consequences.
這項新政策導致了一些不希望出現的後果。
Key Points
The counting method is a discipline strategy for children.
數數法是一種針對兒童的紀律策略。
Parents should remain calm and composed when using this method.
家長在使用這種方法時應保持冷靜與鎮定。
It's not necessary to engage in lengthy discussions or arguments.
沒有必要進行冗長的討論或爭論。
The undesired behavior should be stated simply, and then the count should start.
應簡明地指出不當行為，然後開始數數。
Consistency and not exceeding a count of three is crucial.
保持執行上的一致性，且不超過數到三，是非常關鍵的。
英文檢定綜合試題
What is the key discipline strategy introduced in this chapter?
A. Lengthy discussions
B. Counting method
C. Composed arguments
D. Behavior analysis
Answer: B
What kind of behavior should parents state before starting the count?
A. Desired behavior
B. Good behavior
C. Undesired behavior
D. Typical behavior
Answer: C
What should parents maintain when implementing this strategy?
A. Lengthy discussions
B. Anger
C. Calmness and composure
D. Arguments
Answer: C
What is crucial in implementing the counting method?
A. Engaging in lengthy discussions
B. Exceeding a count of three
C. Consistency and not exceeding a count of three
D. Changing the rules frequently
Answer: C
Chapter 5: Counting: FAQs
In the chapter "Counting: FAQs", Phelan addresses common questions and misconceptions about the application of the counting method. He emphasizes that counting should not be a tool for threatening or nagging children. Instead, it should be conducted in a calm and composed manner to give children the chance to correct their behavior. The counting technique is intended to be an immediate and emotion-free response to undesired behavior, providing a clear signal to children that they need to adjust their actions.
在〈“數到三”：常見問題〉這一章中，Dr. Phelan 針對「數數法」的實際應用，說明了常見的疑問與誤解。他強調，「數到三」不應被用來威脅或唠叨孩子，而應以冷靜、鎮定的態度執行，讓孩子有機會自行調整行為。這項技巧的目的，是在孩子出現不當行為時，立即且不帶情緒地做出回應，向孩子發出明確訊號，提醒他們需要修正自己的行為。
misconceptions (誤解)
The teacher clarified the misconceptions about the historical event.
老師釐清了關於這段歷史事件的常見誤解。
threatening (威脅)
His threatening tone made everyone uneasy.
他威脅的語氣讓大家都感到不安。
composed (鎮定)
Despite the pressure, he remained composed and finished his speech.
儘管面對壓力，他依然保持鎮定，完成了演講。
immediate (立即)
An immediate response is required in emergency situations.
在緊急情況下需要立即作出反應。
Phelan asserts that the counting method is not a punishment, but a teaching tool. The goal is not to impose consequences, but to help children understand the consequences of their actions and make better decisions. He further clarifies that the counting method is not about winning or losing, but about teaching children to manage their behavior. By giving children the opportunity to correct their behavior before reaching three, parents can effectively teach them to take responsibility for their actions.
Dr. Phelan 指出「數到三」不是一種懲罰，而是一種教學工具。其目的不是處罰孩子，而是幫助他們理解行為會帶來的後果，並學習做出更好的決定。他進一步說明，「數數法」的重點不在於勝負，而在於教導孩子學會管理自己的行為。透過在「數到三」之前給孩子機會自行調整，父母能更有效地培養孩子對自己行為負責的態度。
punishment (懲罰)
The punishment for breaking the law is severe.
違法的懲罰是相當嚴厲的。
consequences (後果)
He warned them about the potential consequences of their actions.
他提醒他們留意自己行為可能帶來的後果。
responsibility (責任)
It's her responsibility to ensure the project's success.
確保這個項目的成功是她的責任。
Key Points
Counting is not a tool for threatening or nagging children.
「數到三」不是用來威脅或唠叨孩子的工具。
Counting should be conducted in a calm and composed manner.
執行「數到三」時應保持冷靜與鎮定。
The counting method is an immediate and emotion-free response to undesired behavior.
「數數法」是一種對不當行為立即且不帶情緒的反應方式。
The counting method is not a punishment, but a teaching tool.
「數到三」不是懲罰，而是一種教學工具。
The goal of the counting method is to help children understand the consequences of their actions.
「數數法」的目的是幫助孩子理解自己行為的後果。
The counting method teaches children to manage their behavior.
這種方法能幫助孩子學會自我管理行為。
英文檢定綜合試題
According to Phelan, what is the purpose of the counting method?
A. To punish children for misbehavior.
B. To threaten children into obedience.
C. To teach children about the consequences of their actions.
D. To make children afraid of their parents.
Answer: C
What is the recommended demeanor when using the counting method?
A. Angry and confrontational
B. Calm and composed
C. Excited and enthusiastic
D. Sad and disappointed
Answer: B
What does Phelan emphasize about the counting method?
A. It should be used as a last resort.
B. It is about winning or losing.
C. It should be an immediate and emotion-free response.
D. It should be used sparingly.
Answer: C
Chapter 6: More Counting Questions
In the chapter "More Counting Questions," Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D. delves into the intricacies of the counting method. He explains that discipline is not about punishment, but about guiding children towards better behaviour. Counting provides a pause for children to reflect on their actions and make the right choices. Misbehaviour is not ignored, but rather addressed in a calm and consistent manner.
在「更多數數問題」這一章中，Dr. Phelan 深入探討了「數到三」方法的細節。他解釋，紀律的目的不是懲罰，而是引導孩子朝更好的行為發展。「數到三」為孩子提供一個暫停的機會，讓他們反思自己的行為並做出正確選擇。不當行為並非被忽視，而是以冷靜且一致的方式來處理。
Intricacies (複雜性)
The intricacies of the situation left us feeling baffled.
這種情況的複雜性讓我們感到困惑。
Discipline (紀律)
Discipline is essential for maintaining order in any organization.
在任何組織中，紀律都是維持秩序的必要條件。
Reflect (反思)
We must reflect on our actions to understand their consequences.
我們必須反思自己的行為，以了解其後果。
Consistent (一致)
The company has maintained consistent growth over the years.
這家公司多年來一直保持穩定的成長。
Phelan also discusses how to handle situations when children refuse to do as told after the count of three. The key is to let them experience the consequences of their actions, which could be a time-out or loss of privileges. He emphasizes the importance of parents being firm, yet fair, and not allowing emotions to influence their decisions.
Dr. Phelan 還討論了當孩子在數到三之後仍拒絕按照指示行事時，該如何處理。關鍵在於讓孩子承擔行為的後果，例如暫停時間或失去某些權利。他強調，父母應該堅定但公正，並且不讓情緒影響自己的判斷。
Refuse (拒絕)
He refused to accept the reality of the situation.
他拒絕接受現實情況。
Consequences (後果)
The consequences of his actions were more severe than he had anticipated.
他的行為後果比他預期的更嚴重。
Firm (堅定)
She remained firm in her convictions despite the opposition.
儘管面對反對，她仍堅守信念。
Influence (影響)
His decision was heavily influenced by his personal biases.
他的決定深受個人偏見影響。
Key Points
Discipline is about guiding children towards better behaviour, not punishment.
紀律是為了引導孩子養成更好的行為，而非單純懲罰。
Counting provides a pause for children to reflect on their actions and make the right choices.
「數到三」讓孩子有機會停下來，反思自己的行為並做出更好的選擇。
Misbehaviour should be addressed in a calm and consistent manner.
不當行為應該以冷靜且一致的方式來處理。
When children refuse to do as told after the count of three, let them experience the consequences of their actions.
當孩子在數到三後仍不配合，應讓他們經歷自己行為所帶來的後果。
Parents should be firm, yet fair, and not allow emotions to influence their decisions.
父母應該堅定且公平，不讓情緒左右自己的決策。
英文檢定綜合試題
What is the main purpose of counting in discipline according to Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D.?
A. To punish the child for misbehaviour.
B. To give the child time to reflect on their actions.
C. To scare the child into submission.
D. To keep track of the number of misbehaviours.
Answer: B
How should parents respond when a child refuses to do as told after the count of three?
A. They should punish the child severely.
B. They should let the child experience the consequences of their actions.
C. They should ignore the child's misbehaviour.
D. They should argue with the child until they comply.
Answer: B
What is the role of emotions in parents' disciplinary decisions, according to Phelan?
A. Emotions should guide all disciplinary decisions.
B. Emotions should be completely ignored in disciplinary decisions.
C. Emotions should not influence disciplinary decisions.
D. Emotions should be the only factor in disciplinary decisions.
Answer: C
Chapter 7: Using Time-Out and Other Practical Aspects of Counting
The chapter "Using Time-Out and Other Practical Aspects of Counting" focuses on the use of time-outs and counting as effective disciplinary methods for children. It explains that a time-out is a simple, non-violent disciplinary method that allows children to cool down and reflect on their behavior. This method removes the child from the situation that is causing their inappropriate behavior. It suggests that time-outs should last one minute per year of the child's age, meaning a three-year-old would have a three-minute time-out. It also advises parents to remain calm during the time-out and not engage in discussion or negotiation with the child.
在〈運用冷靜時間與數數法的實務技巧〉一章中，強調「冷靜時間」與「數數」作為有效的兒童紀律方法。書中指出，「冷靜時間」是一種簡單、非暴力的管教方式，讓孩子有機會冷靜下來，並反思自己的行為。這種方法的重點在於將孩子從引發其不當行為的情境中暫時移開。書中建議，冷靜時間的長度應依孩子的年齡設定——每歲一分鐘，例如三歲的孩子就應該冷靜三分鐘。也提醒父母，在冷靜時間進行期間應保持鎮定，避免與孩子討論或談判。
Disciplinary (紀律性的)
Disciplinary methods should always be fair and consistent.
紀律性的方法應始終公平且一致。
Reflect (反思)
The time-out allows the child to reflect on his or her behavior.
冷靜時間讓孩子有機會反思自己的行為。
Inappropriate (不適當的)
The child was removed from the situation due to his inappropriate behavior.
由於孩子出現不當行為，他被從該情境中暫時帶離。
Negotiation (談判)
Parents should avoid negotiating with the child during the time-out.
父母應避免在冷靜時間內與孩子談判。
Key Points
Time-outs are simple, non-violent disciplinary methods that allow children to cool down and reflect on their behavior.
「冷靜時間」是一種簡單、非暴力的紀律方法，讓孩子冷靜下來並反思自己的行為。
Time-outs should last one minute per year of the child's age.
冷靜時間應按孩子年齡計算，每歲一分鐘。
Parents should remain calm during the time-out and avoid negotiation with the child.
父母在冷靜時間期間應保持鎮定，並避免與孩子談判。
英文檢定綜合試題
A. A method that involves punishment.
B. A method that allows children to cool down and reflect on their behavior.
C. A method that involves negotiation with the child.
D. A method that involves rewards for good behavior.
Answer: B
Question: How long should a time-out last according to the child's age?
A. One minute per year of the child's age.
B. Two minutes per year of the child's age.
C. Three minutes per year of the child's age.
D. Four minutes per year of the child's age.
Answer: A
Question: What should parents avoid during a time-out?
A. Negotiation with the child.
B. Punishment.
C. Rewards.
D. Conversation.
Answer: A